by It’s almost homecoming time!! And I do NOT mean I am trying on too-short sequin gowns to see which one feels just sexy enough but my mom will still let me get away with…haha. I’m not the only one who did that, right?
But I digress. So, the inspiration for me to start writing about surviving this military lifestyle was a homecoming. I think it was number 4. In a couple days, I will be experiencing number 10. TEN. YES, TEN! What the heck!?
Sometimes around such a time, I take a moment to sit here and think about how much time I have been separated from my spouse by the “needs of the Navy.” By detachments, TADs, work-ups, random trips and deployments (TEN of them!). But eventually, what inevitably happens, is I get overwhelmed and sorta depressed by the sheer magnitude of it all. No need to put that extra stress on myself. Moving on…
Once upon a time in the early days of my new writing hobby, I wrote about homecomings. I never finished it. It was long, deep and way too heavy. I wanted it to be a sort of guide, what to expect, how to survive…but it turned into a hot mess that was longer than anyone’s attention span should tolerate!
Photo by Rapha Torres from Pexels
So instead, here are some quick, important homecoming tips (in no particular order):
1-Wear whatever makes YOU happy. And comfortable. It matters not what others think at the big event, but what makes you feel good about yourself. And remember, you may be waiting for awhile. (Especially if you are waiting for a ship, it takes them HOURS to get all moored up and start sending people off on liberty!)
2-Do NOT fret about those 10 pounds you found, instead of lost. The bottom line is, he will be more than happy to use his arms, legs, and…ahem…other appendages, to greet you in whatever way you’ll give him access!!
3-Go ahead and wear those 4 1/2” stripper heels if you are comfortable and happy in them…but don’t forget tip #1 about waiting around for awhile. And be careful bending over or jumping in them-we do not need to see London, France or your underpants!
4-Please pass an email or two back and forth about what each of your expectations are when he returns. For me, I always wanna get the heck outta dodge and go on vacay away from home, and he always wants to stay hunkered down with his own creature comforts after having been away so long. Compromise. I say again…compromise.
5-Immediately following the Homecoming is often referred to as the Honeymoon in my home, and it involves some level of passionate sex. There, I said it. Come on, do you really think any of us enjoy government-induced celibacy? The cool thing about this celibacy is that, well, on Homecoming night, it’s kinda like the first time again! ‘Nuff said.
6-The honeymoon won’t last forever, so be prepared for when the first few days of reacquainting and catching up have passed, and you’re finished staring dreamily into each other’s eyes, there will be some real work needed to regain a new sense of normal and adjust to having this family member back in the home. It can be very challenging.
7-Cater to him a little bit. I try to have his favorite beer or wine, snacks and make the first home cooked meal of his choosing. Luckily, my hub’s standards aren’t that high and he’s happy with my homemade pizza!
8-If there are children, let them join in the fun…mine always make welcome home signs. They feel the energy and excitement going on, and this allows them to be a part of the preparations. Plus while they’re working on the signs, you get 15 minutes’ down time!
PLEASE, share with us if you have any great homecoming tips!! I swear, it never gets any easier, it just gets different. And I keep wondering if this will be the last one…?
Cheers and love,
Christine
Anything But Stepford 
I always found the hardest part of coming back together was the changes we had made as individuals while apart. Humans need to grow and change. When couples are together, they go through those changes together. But the growth doesn’t stop when we’re apart. It can be quite unsettling to find you are with a person who is not quite the one you have been thinking about during the separation. If you can both approach the “surprises” with a sense of curiosity and respect it can become part of growing together again. But it takes attention and effort! Be kind to each other! (And I REALLY remember #4, that was always difficult!)
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